I met Kayode in 2013. He was a member of our church and a very close friend to our then choir coordinator that was my friend too.
I knew little or nothing then, compared to what I know now about love and relationships. I was overwhelmed and highly vulnerable when I noticed Kayode's likeness for me and when he finally asked me to be his girl.
I was just sincerely happy that someone wanted me and wanted to be more than a friend with me. I didn't think about the things that going into a relationship entailed, I just wanted a relationship. I was young and naive, it was my very first relationship.
Things went quite well between us for the first few months. Thinking about it all now, Kayode isn't really my type of guy. I realise now that he did a lot of things which I consider unruly and totally disrespectful. He really exploited my immaturity.
He kept persuading me for sex especially. He pressured me so much, but I was unyielding, I just didn't love him enough to give my body to him. And, well, he didn't deserve it!
He travelled down to my school one night and called to ask where I was. I told him I was at a friend. He asked for directions, and he came over there to meet me.
My friend left the room for us, so we could have our time. Kayode stood up to lock the door as soon as my find left and we got talking. Then, one thing led to another and he began asking for sex authoritatively. Honestly, he looked like he would kill me if I didn't yield to his request that night. Before I could understand what was going on, he had his way forcefully with me. With tears in my eyes, I screamed and called for help as much as I could, but no one came to my rescue.
I was broken, I felt violated and mad at him. So many emotions all at once. Why would he? Didn't he claim to love me? Why couldn't he wait for me till I was ready?
I wanted to remain a virgin till my wedding night. All that was history...
He began pleading, using "Konji" as his excuse, claiming he couldn't just control himself as he was fully aroused on his way to my friend's place. Those were his words...
Unfortunately for me, I didn't know that more surprises awaited me. Kayode began changing his behaviour towards me. Barely two months after he forcefully slept with me. He started ignoring my calls, he hardly replied my messages... Unlike him.
Kayode finally sent a message to me one night, claiming his love for me was a thing of the past, as if that wasn't enough, he dropped the bomb. He broke up with me.
I went crazy, I lost it completely! I could hardly do anything with my mind. At home, at school, I was what you might want to call "an emotional wreck."
One day, while walking on the road, I almost got knocked down by a vehicle.
I became a shadow of myself. My parents had to send me to my aunt's place for a prolonged vacation.
After what seemed like forever, I returned home looking at the bright side going forward. It wasn't hard to tell that I had moved on. I was most grateful he didn't get me pregnant.
Weeks later, one Sunday in church, brother Bosun, our choir coordinator and youth leader [Kayode's friend] called to see me after service.
Sister Bisola, I want to have a relationship with you in Jesus's name. I've prayed so much about it and the Holy Spirit showed you to me as a good Christian wife material.
Those were his exact words. I went into another round of confusion. Was this a set up? Isn't this a connivance with his friend, my ex-Kayode? Why me? Of all the girls in this church, why me his friend's ex-girlfriend?
I was so confused, I was so convinced that it was a setup, so I asked him to give me time.
I finally said yes to him after weeks of persuasion and pressure from him in the Lord's name.
Truth be told, he treated me right, he made me feel better and healed, he respected and cherished me so much that I began to love him truly. He was indeed my first true love...
I would want to speak to him before I slept, I would want to hear his voice whenever I woke up, he called me several times during the day with a lot of messages in between.
Then, he began to ask me for sex as well. I was shocked beyond words! A Christian brother? A youth leader? My choir coordinator? Asking me for sex when we were not married.
I ignored him. I promised myself not to ever sleep with another man after what his friend did to me...
He guilts tripped me, always saying since I had sex with his friend, why couldn't I do same with him. I was so hurt, but I loved him at the same time. I still could not allow him have his way, I took my stand and tried my best to maintain it.
He started acting up in several ways that hurt. Each time I called to check on him, he was always busy. He would get angry whenever he asked me to come to his place and I refused.
He went for service last year and was posted to Benue state. I pleaded with him severally to redeploy to somewhere closer so we could visit each other regularly. He refused, and I had to let him be.
For weeks, months, I couldn't get through to him, he didn't call, not even a text message from him.
About a month to the end of his service, he called, I told him immediately that I was breaking up with him as I was no longer in for his strange attitude. He replied with an "okay" and ended the call.
On his way back from his service, he was involved in a fatal accident and ended up with a broken arm and leg and was moved to a hospital in Ondo since then.
Shockingly, he called me severally, begged for my forgiveness, saying he stayed alive from his accident because of me, asked for my second chance. He begged me to come and visit regularly so he could get better and leave the hospital. .
Amidst all that, he told me that he got a lady pregnant during his service year, claiming it was an unintentional act as he was deceptively given alcohol till he got drunk and then slept with the lady.
I didn't feel jealous, I just felt so hurt and mad at him for impregnating another lady while we were still in a relationship, and well, while I still loved him.
Well, I've moved on wonderfully now, I'm about to become a success!
This is my story! ..
Written by, Akingbade Ademide
I knew little or nothing then, compared to what I know now about love and relationships. I was overwhelmed and highly vulnerable when I noticed Kayode's likeness for me and when he finally asked me to be his girl.
I was just sincerely happy that someone wanted me and wanted to be more than a friend with me. I didn't think about the things that going into a relationship entailed, I just wanted a relationship. I was young and naive, it was my very first relationship.
Things went quite well between us for the first few months. Thinking about it all now, Kayode isn't really my type of guy. I realise now that he did a lot of things which I consider unruly and totally disrespectful. He really exploited my immaturity.
He kept persuading me for sex especially. He pressured me so much, but I was unyielding, I just didn't love him enough to give my body to him. And, well, he didn't deserve it!
He travelled down to my school one night and called to ask where I was. I told him I was at a friend. He asked for directions, and he came over there to meet me.
My friend left the room for us, so we could have our time. Kayode stood up to lock the door as soon as my find left and we got talking. Then, one thing led to another and he began asking for sex authoritatively. Honestly, he looked like he would kill me if I didn't yield to his request that night. Before I could understand what was going on, he had his way forcefully with me. With tears in my eyes, I screamed and called for help as much as I could, but no one came to my rescue.
I was broken, I felt violated and mad at him. So many emotions all at once. Why would he? Didn't he claim to love me? Why couldn't he wait for me till I was ready?
I wanted to remain a virgin till my wedding night. All that was history...
He began pleading, using "Konji" as his excuse, claiming he couldn't just control himself as he was fully aroused on his way to my friend's place. Those were his words...
Unfortunately for me, I didn't know that more surprises awaited me. Kayode began changing his behaviour towards me. Barely two months after he forcefully slept with me. He started ignoring my calls, he hardly replied my messages... Unlike him.
Kayode finally sent a message to me one night, claiming his love for me was a thing of the past, as if that wasn't enough, he dropped the bomb. He broke up with me.
I went crazy, I lost it completely! I could hardly do anything with my mind. At home, at school, I was what you might want to call "an emotional wreck."
One day, while walking on the road, I almost got knocked down by a vehicle.
I became a shadow of myself. My parents had to send me to my aunt's place for a prolonged vacation.
After what seemed like forever, I returned home looking at the bright side going forward. It wasn't hard to tell that I had moved on. I was most grateful he didn't get me pregnant.
Weeks later, one Sunday in church, brother Bosun, our choir coordinator and youth leader [Kayode's friend] called to see me after service.
Sister Bisola, I want to have a relationship with you in Jesus's name. I've prayed so much about it and the Holy Spirit showed you to me as a good Christian wife material.
Those were his exact words. I went into another round of confusion. Was this a set up? Isn't this a connivance with his friend, my ex-Kayode? Why me? Of all the girls in this church, why me his friend's ex-girlfriend?
I was so confused, I was so convinced that it was a setup, so I asked him to give me time.
I finally said yes to him after weeks of persuasion and pressure from him in the Lord's name.
Truth be told, he treated me right, he made me feel better and healed, he respected and cherished me so much that I began to love him truly. He was indeed my first true love...
I would want to speak to him before I slept, I would want to hear his voice whenever I woke up, he called me several times during the day with a lot of messages in between.
Then, he began to ask me for sex as well. I was shocked beyond words! A Christian brother? A youth leader? My choir coordinator? Asking me for sex when we were not married.
I ignored him. I promised myself not to ever sleep with another man after what his friend did to me...
He guilts tripped me, always saying since I had sex with his friend, why couldn't I do same with him. I was so hurt, but I loved him at the same time. I still could not allow him have his way, I took my stand and tried my best to maintain it.
He started acting up in several ways that hurt. Each time I called to check on him, he was always busy. He would get angry whenever he asked me to come to his place and I refused.
He went for service last year and was posted to Benue state. I pleaded with him severally to redeploy to somewhere closer so we could visit each other regularly. He refused, and I had to let him be.
For weeks, months, I couldn't get through to him, he didn't call, not even a text message from him.
About a month to the end of his service, he called, I told him immediately that I was breaking up with him as I was no longer in for his strange attitude. He replied with an "okay" and ended the call.
On his way back from his service, he was involved in a fatal accident and ended up with a broken arm and leg and was moved to a hospital in Ondo since then.
Shockingly, he called me severally, begged for my forgiveness, saying he stayed alive from his accident because of me, asked for my second chance. He begged me to come and visit regularly so he could get better and leave the hospital. .
Amidst all that, he told me that he got a lady pregnant during his service year, claiming it was an unintentional act as he was deceptively given alcohol till he got drunk and then slept with the lady.
I didn't feel jealous, I just felt so hurt and mad at him for impregnating another lady while we were still in a relationship, and well, while I still loved him.
Well, I've moved on wonderfully now, I'm about to become a success!
This is my story! ..
Written by, Akingbade Ademide
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