OnkuAde

Good afternoon Ade. I read an article about domestic violence on your blog where a lady also narrated how she dumped her boyfriend that removed her teeth with punch because of phone charger. I want to tell you that, my own problem is bigger than hers. My boyfriend, he has already beaten me up more than twice in the space of two months yet, I still love him. He legit beat me up in my own hostel because he caught me talking to a guy that he warned me not to talk to. The second day, I was the one apologising to him not to be mad at me and I will do everything he asked. I know a man should never treat me this way, but everytime I try to break up with him and move on with my life, I find myself unable to do it. I'm stuck with him. Maybe my love, for him, is too much, or I'm just charmed, I don't even know. And this boy, he's nothing above average. He's just one of those typical Snapchat boys you always describe in your rants (I follow your rants.). I know that tom...

Let's cut to the chase... 1. The first thing to look out for to detect a cheating partner is loss of communication. Like I've said in previous posts, nobody is too busy to not have a minute to text/call their partner. If your partner can go for days, weeks, without speaking/communicating with you, you have to start asking questions about the relationship. 2. When your partner is getting angry with you over flimsy excuses or is irritated by you unnecessarily, something has definitely gone wrong somewhere. 3. Lack of desire to sleep with you. If she/he doesn't fancy sharing her/his body with you anymore and they're not giving you any reason why, and it's unlike them to not want to be with you, you have to start checking for problems in your relationship. If they're not getting it from you anymore, they're getting it someone  else. 4. When your own partner starts locking their phone, their WhatsApp, messages app and other communications apps on their...

Distance relationships can be tiring and boring very quickly if care is not taken. For those who practice it, it gives you this sense of control and freedom. To some extent, you're able to be what you want to and talk to who you want to talk to without having your partner keep tabs on you. But if you truly love your distant partner and you want this relationship to work out, you have to actually put in extra efforts than those who see themselves every day and cuddle, hug, kiss and do all sorts together. Distance relationships can be related to literally having your mind taken far away from your body. To keep body and soul together, you have to actually mentally and emotionally remain connected to your partner. You know, you have to feel like they're present even though they're not physically present. Thank science for technology. Make sure you two are always talking, gisting, chatting, making video calls as much as possible. Talk about how your day went, talk about...

Hello Onku Ade. I can't wait for you to finish your IT and return back to school. We have a lot of things to talk about. Literally in front of my eyes like this, my life is spiraling out of control. A lot of things are happening so fast and now, I'm just tired of everything and I want to give up. I don't even know how I got here again. Onku, I have everything I ever wanted for my age. I'm in a good school. My parents give me money always, I live in a good house, I've a handsome and caring boyfriend, I've everything. My boyfriend, he's the best king out there. He's faithful, very handsome, caring, intelligent, he's everything a woman should pray for in a man. But me, Onku, I have scattered everything. I'm writing this with tears in my eyes right now because I know people will be very harsh on me when they read this. But I just really need their advice before I lose my sanity. This problem I'm having now started before I started dating ...

You think you're getting the best from your girl? She can be better, trust me. Follow these things religiously and you will come back here to give your testimony. 1. Help her achieve her dreams. When I say help her achieve her dream, I mean support her morally, financially and physically. Make her feel like you want her to be happy by supporting her to achieve her dreams. Cheer her up and make her believe in herself everytime she meets a stumbling block. Truth is, no matter how self-dependent she is, she's going to need that your manly strength at some point. 2. Be there for her on her worst days. Don't just do this because you want to knack or because she's pitiful, do this because you want to be there for her. When she's going through that menstrual pain, be there for her, feel the pain with her. When she's grumpy and mood swinging, be understanding and calm with her. 3. Compliment her.  Don't just compliment your girlfriend because she wants to he...

Long lasting relationships do not stand only on love and romance, it takes sacrifice, selflessness and several other things to make a relationship survive. 1. The number one behaviour that is going to definitely kill your relationship is selfishness. Being in a relationship means you should be ready to share everything you have, including yourself with your partner. It doesn't make sense to place value on material things and money over the needs of your partner. 2. Not being willing to listen to your partner's opinion is another that's going to set you on the path of destruction. Your partner's thoughts and opinions on a topic count too. You're not an island of knowledge, neither are you omnipotent. Put that at the back of your mind anytime there's a topic up for discussion with your partner, you can't always be right. Listen to their views too. 3. Pride. No doubt, "pride kills." It doesn't allow you to see what is, you continue bla...

Onku Ade, I'm not writing this to ask for advice or anything. I just want you to talk to ladies on the issue of domestic violence. I want them to know that they have a choice to walk away from those sick guys before it's too late. Domestic violence is real and brutal. Domestic violence is inhuman at best. No guy should ever raise one single finger to beat you. No woman deserves to be treated that way. We're delicate, and we deserve to be pampered and shown respect. If your boyfriend is angry and he can't control it, ask him to go and pick a fight with those Yaba touts. About five months after I met my boyfriend, he slapped me over one silly argument that I can't even remember. I forgave him then because of his anger issues but I warned him to never ever raise up his hand on me in his life again. We settled the issue and we continued the relationship. I didn't know that he would still remove my teeth. September 15th, a Friday. I was at his place when Ne...

My girlfriend and I met before Uni at a party in Ibadan. It was love at first sight. Next week Wednesday will be our fifth year anniversary together but I don't know if we're going to celebrate anything. Truth is, I love my girlfriend so much, I will never do anything to hurt here. I've spent five years with her, and I swear I want to get married to here. Early last month, I made a big mistake by cheating on my girlfriend. I will always regret it for the rest of my life. I plan on telling her but I'm so scared how she will react if I tell her that's why I haven't. I think somehow somehow, my girlfriend found out about it. For about three weeks now, she has changed completely from the sweet girl that I know to a cold and reserved girl.  I was waiting for her to come back from church on Sunday so I could ask her what's going on with her when my brother called me and told me about how my girl went all the way to Ogbomoso twice to sleep with him. She went on he...

Onku, my boyfriend has never opened my cloth like this to have sex with me. And with the way things are going, I don't think he will ever. And the reason why I'm writing this is because I know this guy before I started dating him, he was a correct average f*ck boy. He wasn't full time f*ck boy but he was still averagely breaking girls heart everywhere. So I know that there's no way he won't want to have sex with me. And me too, Onku I've my needs too now. My body is not stone. But I know my boyfriend, if it's not from me, he's definitely getting it from somewhere else. Hope you get why I'm worried now? I've confronted him several times and his excuse is always that he's not in the mood. How can a guy not be in the mood? A full-grown man with a full-grown manhood? Is it possible? He spends the night in my place like 80% of the time and he doesn't even know the colour of any of my expensive pants. Its painful! Whenever we are together, I...

Finally, you've gotten that guy you so much love, the man of your dreams. But after sometime in the relationship you feel like he's not really interested in you anymore, the love is declining. Your conversations no longer extend beyond the normal; How are you??Have you eaten?? How was your day?. This is getting you worried right?? Well, your worry moments are over because here are 5  Romantic Questions to ask your boyfriend to help you ginger the relationship. These are questions that will give life back to your conversation. Questions that will make him want and love you more: 1. What do you like best about me??  This question will definitely catch him off guard. This question will also make him start thinking deeply about you. If he starts thinking about you, he can reconnect with you. 2. What will you do to me the next time you see me? This question will remind him of how much he misses you and how much he wants you right there with him. It will definitely bring a ...

To live an absolutely single life and also truly be happy are one thing that the society we find ourselves in so vigorously kick against. One way or another, the society won't just let you be single and happy in peace. Especially the women. It's almost as if the society is constantly kicking everybody to go and get married, to belong to somebody, to marry and be responsible and nonsense. Marriage is a good thing, yes. But I feel it's becoming overly outdated and overestimated. The truth is, relationship/marriage isn't for everybody. The earlier our society can come to grasp with that, the better for all of us. Some people want to feel free, have crazy and spontaneous sex anywhere, anytime, with anyone. Go all over the place and fulfil even the thinnest of their ambitions without any partner holding them down... It's possible, to decide to live a single life and be free and happy. You have to make that commitment and stick by it. But before you choose to make that co...

Women that find true love have found peace and happiness forever. When a man loves you, you will flourish, you will shine, even your teeth will become white, you will always be smiling too. People also feel like true love is scarce and hard to find, so much that, everybody is just rolling into and out of relationships like it's a stroll to the park. Now, to test for true love, most people still look out for the old signs like; "the guy will introduce you to his mother and friends." my dear, Tueh! Even if a guy introduces you to all his generation, if he doesn't love you, he can dump your ass into the lagoon. But if you think you have found your own one true love, look at these signs to be sure he loves you truly. 1. When a man deeply loves you, you will flourish in all your endeavours. Because you're not occupying your thoughts with whether he's cheating on you, or worrying about how long he's going to stay. You will be able to articulate your thou...

Hello OnkuAde. My boyfriend and I have been dating for close to three years now and we love each other very much. I know he loves me because he has never cheated on me before and he's always there for me like a real man. I love him too as much as he loves me and I can do just anything for him but what he's asking rn, it will kill me. He's even one popular boy in UNIOSUN. You will know him if I mention his name. But Onku, something has been going on recently in our relationship that is threatening to break us apart. My boyfriend wants to try anal sex with me! What's that? Is anal sex not even for people they're gay? The vagina is not sweet anymore for him; he wants to do anal. Which normal girl will even agree to that nonsense? He has begged me and tried all sorts of tricks to get me to agree to it, but I just can't. What he now does is that anytime we're having sex, he will be forcefully putting it in my anus. I just stop everything and get angry at him. One...

Eerybody has a crush. No? Maybe not everybody. But on a scale of 1-100, 90% of us has a crush. I had one once when I was in 200 level. She is black, chubby, full front and back and radiant. I kept crushing on her until my heart could no longer take it. Anyway, back to the topic. When you finally get the attention of your crush, your mission is to make their heart align perfectly with yours on a straight line. You want your crush to be able to finally feel whatever you have been feeling since 1770. To do that, you have to understand who your crush is. I suppose this shouldn't be a problem because if you have been crushing on somebody, you must have been studying their life and body language too from afar. So when you understand who that person is, you have to show them that you can perform on their stage, with their tempo. Most important of all, don't immediately confess love to your crush. It's a miscalculated and desperate move. I know you must have loved that perso...

Have you been wondering whether or not your ex is truthfully done with you? Somethings you're thinking whether there's even a slight chance to be back with them or you are just confused with the signs you're getting from the ex. This will help you out. 1. The commonest sign of all that your ex isn't over you yet is when he/she constantly calls to check up on you. They're not butt dialing you, those calls are as a result of their deeprooted cravings for your touch. 2. Another common sign is when conversations keep getting awkward between you two. They call to check up on you and then they are stuck with what to say next but they still want to hear your voice. Then there's that long, awkward period of silence and you're there saying hello... You there? Helloo... 3. One basic thing you should look out for is when your ex often refer back to one time in the past when you two had a lovely time together and the time was perfect. This shows that they...

Good morning my G. Abeg don't post my name just use the story. Let me go straight to the point. A friend in MCB told me about you Onku and all your rants too. Keep the good work going. So my problem is that, I think my girlfriend too has changed ever since davido sang that assurance. I don't know if it was the song that changed her or she changed herself. But I know of some of my friend's girlfriends too that changed since Chioma got a car. My girlfriend and I, we used to be very cool and understanding. We straight die! If I don't have 1 kobo to give her, she used to be the one to tell me not to worry that things will soon get better. But now, na lie! Onku, my darling girlfriend looked at me in the eye and told me that if I don't buy a jeep  and a house this year she's leaving me for good. Where should I go and steal from? And me, I'm just going jeje on my own. If I've 2 kobo in my account, I know I've just 2 kobo. I do not have thirty billion ...

Good morning Onku. Sorry to disturb you this early morning. I couldn't sleep. Please post my story early. Please, why are men so wicked, heartless, devilish like and scum like this? I'm a 200 level student in UNIOSUN studying nursing. I met my boyfriend last year may when I was still a Virgin. Then, he used to be very caring, and he could do everything that I asked him to do. Onku, there was even a day that I was sick in the midnight and I couldn't sleep, my boyfriend left his hostel in town and came to my hostel in school area to take care of me in the midnight. Since August last year, he had been bothering me to let us have sex because he  wanted us to. He begged and begged me so much that I got tired of him. Just two weeks ago I allowed him do it because I sensed that he would go ahead to start cheating on me. Why I'm writing this is because, since he had sex with me, my boyfriend hasn't been himself anymore. He won't call, he won't reply my WhatsApp m...

Sometimes we can't seem to get over the people that have walked away from our life. We can't help ourselves to move on and find greener pastures with someone else because we love that one ex so much and we will do anything to get back together. I will be giving you ideas on things to do and things not to do if you want to get your ex to come back home to you. Especially that ex that has stopped communicating with you and seem to have moved on with their life. 1. Firstly, stop with posting cryptic pictures with hidden messages on your WhatsApp status and on Facebook hoping to let your ex feel bad about leaving you and wanting to come back. You both went apart for a reason, and if that reason is not addressed, you're only going to appear desperate and foolish with all the cryptic love quotes and relationship quotes you dump on your WhatsApp status. 2. Don't call/text your ex like you both are still in a relationship. That person is called your ex for a reason,...

Men are a forward thinking specie. And I'm sure most people would be looking forward to seeing something like; to make your man happy, give him sex, sex, money, give him sex again... Nah, that's just about the same line you will see on every other platform online. You see, its not just about the sex or knack. Men have always had women to knack. You enter into a relationship with these men, and you still find them very unhappy and sometimes locked up towards you. Yes, to keep a man, the sex has to be good, very good. I'm not saying you should start having sex with your man against your will. All I'm saying is, if it's happening, make sure it's good enough. So back to my point. It takes more than just sex to have a happy man. To make your man happy, you have to know him in a way that no other man or woman alive know him. You have to be able to understand him also even if he's not always right. He doesn't want you to shut him down and call his ...

Relationships do not last because of the absence of reasoning, communication and understanding among relationship partners. The problem is as simple as that. A relationship is a commitment between two hearts, commitment to be faithful to just one person only, commitment to be sexual with just one person only, commitment to never be sexual with another person. Now, committing to someone is a thing of the heart, it's conceived and executed by your heart. But, it should go more than that. The brain has to be brought in to help reason, communicate and understand. This side of the equation is one very important yet most people do not allow their brains to work whenever they're in love. Love meanwhile, isn't enough to run a relationship. You have to understand the person you love for you to love them properly, for you to be able to see things from their perspective and for you to be able to treat them like they deserve. Life availed us our brain, body and mind. Thre...

That is one tricky question that requires a lot of critical thinking, observation and careful processing. It's even more tricky because you can't say what applies to one girl is going to directly apply to other girls out there too. But what you should understand is that girls see sex differently and the opinions they hold about sex differs according to their upbringing, the stories they've heard from their friend, the articles they have read and their personal convictions. Today, most girls are just confused as to whether to have sex with their boyfriends or not. Largely, they don't know what they want especially when it's their first relationship and they've never come near having sex before. So out of morals and societal tales, they opt to stay a Virgin. Some are not just ready mentally to deal with the sex and the after sex. So they run away from it! As a guy, you should know that understanding, love and communication are everything that matters. Like ...

The insistence of most ladies not to ever date someone they're close friend with. Why? "Most ladies argue; we're too close to date... If a guy is elegant with a good head, clean character, bright prospects, exhilarating personality, exciting attitude, smart brain, why push him away because he knows a lot of things about you? Things like, you love to have sex with your hands and legs chained together on a car that's inside river Jordan or the red sea and your partner flogs you until your ass cheeks are as red as hot iron. Or he knows that you used to steal meat from your mum's pot till you were 16 and she would catch you and ask you to steal more. All I'm just saying is, someone that doesn't know you for the crazy brat you're can't understand you or treat you as that freaking, imaginative, adventure loving lady. A friend knows you. He has seen you cry, weep, laugh, he knows when you're weak or strong, he knows how to cheer you up. He knows you...

I met Debola in secondary school. He only joined my class in ss1 and I didn't feel anything for him because he was barely even noticeable in class. But immediately we resumed ss3, everything changed. To God, Debola had changed. He was damn hot! It was as if he used the whole long-term holiday to work on his body, mind and soul. I couldn't ever take my eyes off him. All the girls in our class then were falling in line to have something to do with him including myself. Debola wasn't just killer hot and handsome, he was well matured and well known too. The way he talks and carries himself was one particular feature of him that made me wet my pant every time I thought about him holding me. To all my classmates then that knew me, I was the innocent Christian girl that had never dated any guy before or done anything sexual. They were correct. I'm from a Catholic family coupled with the fact that I'm the only girl in the family, there was no adventure I could go on ...

When you love someone, you begin to worry, bother. You think, is he not too good to be real like this? Are you the biggest shareholder in her life? Love, so terrible. Yet so beautiful. You do a lot of things and make certain sacrifices. Then you're looking back and pondering, what have I just done? Things you have done for love. You can't explain. But hey, desperado, don't you worry. Close your eyes and enjoy. That feeling, that unexplainable runmu runmu feeling in your brain that's making you act like a 6-year-old boy that can not do without his mother (in this case, your woman). That feeling will face trials and tribulations and you will be surprised at how fast time flies. So, Close your eyes, enjoy, do the things you want to do. Don't worry. Don't bother about marriage. Don't worry if he's going to stay forever. I know this teaching is somehow, but have that s*x if it comes and have it gracefully. Cum and say a thankful prayer to God. Se...

Good evening people. Hope you all had a great day? It's time for another lovely discussion. Something to scratch your head and allow you think deep down about your present relationship. Now, people say; "Love is blind" everytime they do something crazy and foolish in the name of love. They just follow whatever was leading them at that moment and they do the most idiotic of things for their partners. We have seen boyfriends use their school fees to celebrate birthday parties for their girlfriends. We have seen girlfriends fighting to blood their boyfriend's side chick. What's left? But now to the grand question. Let's move to what you can do for your love. So let's say there's somebody threatening your present partner's life, and the threats are appearing to be real threat. What if you do find yourself in the possession of guns and invisibility today. Invisibility in the sense that, whatever you do won't be seen by anyone. Can you ki...

Unreciprocated love will make you stupid, dumb, idiotic, crazy and foolish all at the same time. You want to have that someone in your arms always but then, they don't want to have you! That someone is who you want to talk to and be around all day but they do not want your presence. One sided love is what makes you cry bitterly. That love is what keeps you awake all night. It is what makes you tensed and sad everytime you're not recognised. You only have peace when the one you love calls, but your sadness and bitterness level rises everytime you're remembered how unimportant you're in the life of the person you can lay down your life for. They don't want you and just want another. In your presence,  they hug, hold and smile to someone else's dry jokes. A privilege you never have. The more deeply you love, the weaker you're. You will do things for them that you know you shouldn't do. Things you shouldn't do, things that will affect you, thi...

love sometimes could be very complicating and unpredictable. One minute, you presume you love your spouse dearly AND can do anything to keep him or her forever locked in your blossom. The next minute, you are contemplating quitting and any flimsy excuse you lay your hand on would be the best opportunity to strike just to dabble into another relationship you might be considering best for you at the moment. Little wonder, people often find themselves in a love triangle; a situation where you believe to be having same and equal feelings for two people at the same time. And in such a complex situation, some may dump their former partner for the latest one. Probably he may be more flamboyant, cuter and possibly overgenerous in his spending. (Who no like better thing?) We all know the more money mentality running through the head of our most of our present day Nigerian babes. A mentality whereby, a man's worth is measured by his money and material possessions. It's such a sha...

Tope is a 20-year-old resident of Ogun state whose just about 2 decades of existence has been surrounded by sorrow, pain, betrayal, deceit, fear, and sweat. She has strived hard on her own to survive and in that course, her hustle has been struck several times by human betrayal and deceit from old and young likewise, people who seem to have no other motive than to take advantage of her vulnerability and need but she has always stayed strong in her resolve. Read her rant below. Where shall my help come from? My help comes from the Lord. The creator of heaven and earth. Psalm This has been my daily reading since no one is ever ready to help me without immediate reward which is SEX. I've been made to understand that help won't come for me unless I offer my body for sex in return but I decided to choose the suicidal, depressed and the narrow path. As a young, hustling, fatherless lady, almost everyone I've ran to for help see sex as an exchange for the help they wanted to o...

Identify love by interest, attention, sacrifice, patience, want and time. It's not the fast flowing words from a fast moving tongue and the thrill and sheer joy his cuddle and drunkenness bring in the first three months of first contact. Look into his head through his skull and know what he wants from you. Don't know by asking him. You could as well just ask the devil why he wants to win us all over to his side. A clit is a lovely cutie and sweet strawberry in front of the guy whose face is buried into it. Taking a bite from the cake will prove a lovely thrill and motivation for all the thrill and butterflies he makes you feel for those first three months. Take a step back, look at the devotion of his person to you. He will build his castle around you if he wants you in it, if you're the one. Unless the gods have taken your eyes and insight away from you, you will know. For those that still believe in relationships and love. Your ultimate goal and pride in a man shoul...

Xup people. Happy Sunday to you all 😀😀. Hope you all went to church to beg for forgiveness of your sins.  So, we will be having our first Sunday family discussion today.  And our topic for today is; Would you leave your present girlfriend that won't cook 🍳 for you for another girl that is willing to cook? As the world is now ehn, with feminists shouting everywhere all over social media. Even those that do not know the meaning of feminism ehn, they're shouting it. Girls are now showing a certain level of "I don't care" in their relationships towards things that's generally perceived to be their responsibility. Things like, cooking. Yes o, you heard me right. They say, "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach" And we know, food is a big thing in a relationship biko. Boyz won't be hustling and still stay hungry now. But the girls are now saying, if they come to your house, you must do the cooking before you shine their ...

34  years old Joanne is suffering from a severe concussion caused by her so-called husband David, after she bought her second car which he told her not to buy. David feels he should have total control over her finance and life because he is her husband and the head of the family; "how sickening"! While Joanne was still in the hospital, David brought in Sarah his new wife to visit Joanne in the hospital, immediately David introduced Sarah as his new wife, Joanne fell unconscious, he just murdered her soul. When the case was taken to the court of the 'head of the family' the final judgment was that Joanna should apologize to David because he is a man and the head of the family. 'what a judgement'.   When we were yah-high, we were taught that the man is the head of the family and of course the male child is the most important child, we were taught that as females we should place males in high esteem while destroying our self-esteem, we were taught that th...

These are mind blowing facts about relationships that have been carefully examined and proven true several times. Enjoy! 1. Shy girls have the dirtiest minds and they do the most craziest of sexual things when they're with a guy they're comfortable with. 2. No matter how much you try to make a girl love you, if she doesn't love you now, she's never going to love you. Nothing is going to change that mind. 3. Girls love and want to keep heir male friends in a healthy way. Most guys want to eventually have sex with their female friends. 4. While a girl starts dreaming about her wedding day as early in her life as possible. A guy dreams about power, money, leadership positions. 5. 90% of the time, women know that the guy they're with is a liar and a cheat. They just won't admit it to themselves and take actions on it because they silently hope that love can change him. 6. The highest proof of love that a girl can show you is when she's ready to l...

Note: That Acrimony movie and this blog are what prompted me to share my story. I already accepted my fate. I met Kunle during our 100 level days. He was very handsome and intelligent, but he was so poor. Kunle was so intelligent, every girl I know of in Osogbo campus wanted to have something to do with him. The fact that he was graciously handsome also didn't help my case. I couldn't stop thinking about him. He noticed me finally in 200 level and he asked me out. I said yes to him immediately. I was dying to date Kunle ever since I set me eyes on him during that Mth 101 class. In fact, I went to church because of him to pray to God to bring him to me if God truly loved me. I knew fully well that Kunle had the potentials to not only be a fantastic womaniser, I knew he was dangerous and he will definitely hurt me. But this boy was very handsome and extraordinary when it came to sex. I've never seen anything like it before. So I went ahead and said yes to him anyway e...

I gained admission into UNIOSUN to study political science and international relations in 2015. I did everything necessary to make sure I did not loose my admission back then. I give thanks to God today, I'm a bonafide student of the university. Osun state university has been a very wonderful place to be, To me, it's mostly because of the kind of people I've met here over time, the diversity in people has actually changed my life. For better! I remember vividly, before I gained admission, I was a very bad boy when it came to ladies affair. I had dated all the girl in my street. Why? I look very brilliantly handsome! Yeah, with alot of swagger! And to cap it all, my father is a wealthy man. Getting to UNIOSUN, I met a girl, zenith.. I thought she was like other girls I had dated at home. I took her out for countless shopping, we visited the cinema countless times hoping she will fall for fine bobo. But this girl was so determined never to fall. Incase I did...

I fell in love with a girl some years back and she didn't love me back. I could walk away from her, but I didn't. Why was it so difficult for me to walk away from someone I loved so much but she didn't want me back? The silent madness. The burning fire in me that promised to never die unless I had something with that person. The burning want to have something significant and exclusive with her. The big fat bowl of disappointment that was always on my face when every call and message I received wasn't from her. I looked at my life and I evaluated it like I had done some bullshit in the past that didn't make me seem loveable to her. Why wouldn't this girl just want me and love me like I did her? I scrutinised myself thoroughly, why does this babe not want to be with me despite all the love that I had for her? I just wanted to be loved back, I wanted to feel recognized, I wanted to be needed by someone who had already made it clear to me several times ...