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Define your relationship.

I had a girlfriend once [A female friend]. She was hopelessly in love with a guy for three years. For the period of three years, she did everything humanly possible to show and display her affection for this guy. After school, she would stop by at the market to buy vegetables, pepper, meat, fish, etc. She would go to the guy's house and make correct vegetables and semo or amala for him to eat. After that they would have sex for long hours, doing every sex style that's logically possible. By morning she would sweep the floor, wash his plates, wash his clothes, take care of his bathroom before she leaves to her own place to tend to her own life. She did that for three years before she found out that the guy she was dating for three years had a girl in another town he was keeping for marriage. When she confronted him, he asked her; did I ask you out? Did I tell you that I love you? Did I ever speak about having a relationship with you?


My girlfriend broke, but she was able to finally move on. But the scar never goes away, the damage is already there. Isn't it? Three years of her body, time and resources. Three years is more than enough to meet somebody, fall in love, date, court and marry that person.
Her story is what inspired this article today. One thing that everybody has failed to take into consideration whenever they are venturing into a new relationship is the harsh truth that everybody you meet in life has a specific purpose in your life. The guy you met on Facebook has a purpose in your life. The sweet guy you bumped into on campus has a purpose in your life. The guy your friend introduced you to has a purpose in your life. The purpose of a person in your life could be just to greet you for five seconds and walk away. The purpose of somebody else could be to come into your life and be your one true love. Now, you can't try to replace the purpose of guy A in your life by trying to force him or compel him to take up the purpose of guy B. He's going to crumble and disappoint you. A guy that's only supposed to come into your life and help you out at a critical junction of your life and then move on. If you make him fall in love with you and you try to pay him back for helping you out at a critical moment of your life by having a relationship with him, it's not going to work. As you grow, you're going to meet a lot of people that are going to help you carry your cross at some point and ease you of your pain. Are you going to repay them all back with a relationship/marriage? If someone helps you with something critical and you feel the need to repay back, pay with money, that's why money was created. Or you offer your professional services in return. That is why you have to define your relationship on your own first then, sit your partner down and ask him/her to define what's going on between you two and why it is going on. We have all heard of people that think that they're in a relationship with someone for months only for them to wake up one day and find out that the love of their life was never in a relationship with them. You're dating somebody, but the person is not dating you. What's that? The knowing that these things happen alone is enough to make you define your relationship. And it's not just ladies that should define their relationship with their guy. The guys are in more danger of being in a relationship with a girl that's not dating them. Guys let me tell you, especially if that girl is a beautiful girl. Be sure that you're not the only shareholder in her life. Who the biggest shareholder in her life is is all that matters. So you have to ask her and be sure that you rank the highest in all the guys in her life list. Don't just be hopelessly in love and be buying her gifts, sending her money, taking her out and all sorts and at the end of the day, you are going to find out that she hasn't been genuinely dating you.
Finally, everything has a definition. It's better to find out early where you stand in your partner's life than to find out later that you were never wanted.
READ ALSO ; He wants anal sex, but I can't give it to him.
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  1. RM11 July 2020 at 12:16

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